Having mingled with different cultures from different districts within the east coast side of Sabah since last week has opened my eyes to the livelihood and the ways of the society here. I learnt new things about the borders, the mix of ethnicities of each district, the way they built their houses and their passion for their community. I thought I have had it figured out already, then again, after today’s experience on the bus I took travelling from Tawau and Sandakan has somewhat given me more clues on what entails the people at the east coast at large.
During my trip today, I sat next to an aunt, she’s like so restless and unsettled. At first, I didn’t want to bother talking to her. Just exchanged short remarks when she needed my response or asking for something. Then, after lunch time, we began to chat. We chatted all the way from Silam Lahad Datu up until we both arrived at the bus terminal in Sandakan. That was like 3 hours and more of conversation. I have never talked with someone that long before. I guess, we were kind of stuck next to each other and just talk. The guy next to me, on the other aisle of seat, I suspect, was eavesdropping on us.
The aunt came back to Sabah to visit her sick mother after 13 years of being away. Midway through our conversation, she mentioned about having moved different districts and talked about base camp, I was like, “Were you in the army?”. I tried so hard not to laugh. And then, she began to recall on her youth and childhood growing up in the east, about her family, her family home, her sibling – it was so similar to him. I was like, what are the odds, right? I was supposed to board on a different bus, but decided against and was seated next to her. God must be telling me something. What I noticed about these guys in the army, they are great conversationalist. They are very bright, easygoing and dedicated people – maybe they have to be like that since they meet and work with so many people within their organisation. I don’t know yet what this is all about if I want to be paranoid and overthink – maybe because I dreamt of him last night and we were ok in my dream, and I missed him so much.
Anyways, it was so interesting – it’s like having a guided tour on a bus while we pass by the road from Lahad Datu to Kinabatangan up to Sandakan. Then she proceeded to show me the houses of the relatives of her ex-husband. She earlier showed the old routes leading to mechanical towing bridge that were used in the 80s and some up to the 90s. Development came to east coast quite very much later than the west. It’s like, we are a generation apart in terms of modernisation and change of lifestyle. Looking at all the palm oil estates, I couldn’t help but wonder how it felt for him to stay and work in one of those. One information that really caught my attention was about how the Madai Cave bird’s nest can only be harvested by Idahan people, and the characters of an Idahan man. I searched about it on Google, I was so mindblown how interconnected they are with the caves along the east coast. I must go some time to visit these caves and find out more. Idahan people are one of the earliest civilised tribe in Sabah. I have never known any one of them. I would be interested to date one of them in the future.
It just felt so different today, I felt like I was so interconnected with the aunt, we talked as if we have known each other for a long time. Just the same vibe I had with him, and some other men I’ve known from the navy base. It could be because we all left our homes from a very young age. We missed out on growing up like other people in the comfort of our homes and community – while us, we had to fend for ourselves and ignore what’s true to us until the struggle is over and it’s time to go home. Maybe Allah wants to show me that we were both traumatised beings and what we had, me and himself, while it’s healing to both of us, was just a typical dynamics if I have met other people with similar trauma and that it was not that special at all. Don’t know if that’s the case, but to have written this long about the conversation on the bus with that aunty, it truly was a significant moment for me. Thank you Allah for this feeling and for today’s discovery.