Tag: latenights

  • Generally Worried – Jan 2024

    Feeling off today, generally worried and anxious. Things that made me feel all stressed out today are:

    • Having to get up early to train
    • Uncertain if my car gonna behave well tomorrow morning
    • Data collection stuff
    • Deadlines for paper
    • Finance
    • He’s being mute again

    It’s the attachment again, like I couldn’t relax and I feel the need to hold strong on being on alert mode which is so exhausting. I forgot how to work on this. Detach? And I really need help right now, seems like no one’s willing to help me the way that I need.

    Most of the things I am worried about can be changed. Only about him, there’s nothing I can do right now. It’s just so frustrating communicating with him. I don’t know how much longer I could stand this guy’s treatment.

    Relax, whatever that is destined for me will be mine.

  • I am 41!

    It is my birthday today! A different celebration from when I was 40. Because I don’t have Facebook anymore that notifies everyone of my birthday, not many wished me one (not even my man!). Only my family members and some close friends who happen to interact with me often. I taught BodyPump as usual as it’s Thursday, and got announced by my instructor mate who team teached with me today to the whole class that it’s my birthday today. It was a nice feeling being appreciated like that. Afterwards, we had cake and some meal downstairs at Secret Recipe and I headed towards my parents’ to meet and celebrate with my family.

    Did the usual drills, small celebration with them. Had cake, kids singing birthday and fought to blow the candles, them gifts giving and them asked me to unwrap the presents. We ate a bit, and chit chatted with my sisters and mom. Dad, as usual, I don’t know what to talk about with him. He just went to bed early.

    I got some presents like freebies from expos – functional stuffs, mom gave me telekung and dad gave me a watch. It was so modest I was actually was not that excited. Then when I unwrapped the gift from my dad, I was half disappointed cause he gave me a men’s watch. In my mind, I was like, “Are you kidding me, don’t you realise how stylish I am, and you want me to wear this?”. Well, of course I didn’t voice out my disappointment and thanked him anyway with glee. I also asked my mom where I can have the strap adjusted, cause its too large on my wrist. She just answered me but like unsure of it. If they bought it together, she would have known. I packed some food and drove back to my house after everyone settled to their bedrooms.

    As I drove home, I became suspicious. Like, how could he do that to me, then I thought, he must have bought it for himself but didn’t want it and gave it to me instead – like, everything hand-me-downs, they’ll give it to me. As I arrived, showered and settled at home, I charged the smartwatch my dad gave me, changed the straps – the black leather straps look a lot better on my wrist than the steel one and checked what’s inside the box.

    I found the manual and some sort of warranty documents, then I saw the date of purchase. It was in 2020! And then I remembered my brother gave a Fossil watch to my dad for his birthday. Could this be the same watch? The settings of the phone, too, were configured for an iPhone and with my dad’s email address.

    I was heartbroken, like not angry heartbroken. It’s a sad feeling. My dad is not as he was years back. He’s in a fragile and vulnerable position right now. Maybe he is feeling powerless to help me, that’s why he’s like avoiding, even talking with me. Despite of that, he still wants to give his best to me. That’s my dad’s love to me. He has given me everything he could, even when in times he could not afford to. I feel that he’s really in big crisis right now and really need our help. On the bright side, I kind of glad that he didn’t spend so much money for a gift that I don’t really in favour of (like the almost 3 grands Tumi backpack they gave me last year).

    It is a huge awakening for me. I, too, am feeling so vulnerable and don’t know how I could turn my life around. But so far, things are kind of on track. I want to help my family and not be too financially dependent on them. I am not messing around anymore. Inside, I know I can do this. Just still figuring out what works. Allah will guide me, as long as I do it for the right reason with all my heart.

    May Allah protect my parents from their worries and insecurities; and teach them to be at peace and surrender to Him; and bless my parents with good health and meaningful life. I love my parents, and thank you Allah for blessing me with wonderful mom and dad who love me unconditionally with all their hearts.

  • Agitation

    Ever been through Sunday not feeling ready to start the new week?

    That’s exactly how am I feeling tonight. Wide awake at 2am feeling agitated that I would screw up Monday.

    Everything felt wrong. I dislike it when my routine get disrupted. Yes, I helped my family. But what about me?

    I’m also nervous about the future. Making changes here and there, getting used to new routine – and my man is just not putting effort as much as before which makes me feel anxious.

    And seriously our water supply is disrupted again. Still figuring out what to do about it. Just overall feeling insecure. I don’t like this feeling – it’s so uncomfortable. Meditated for 10 minutes, almost fell asleep but my body just wouldn’t let me. I’m just in fight mode right now. Will sit with it and try to observe it as my monkey mind and like a long train passing by.

  • Unsettled again

    How sad it is when the only person you are comfortable updating on yourself and your day is your 6 years old niece. She is the most amazing girl in the world that I have known. I hope she continues to be that way even after the world breaks her heart – I pray that she is strong and resilient in navigating her life in the future.

    Feeling so messed up and upset today. Because I am trying to finish a website update today, but found it so stressful and time-consuming. At first, I resent my brother for asking me and rushing me to do it for free. When I dug deeper, firstly, he never said it’s for free, secondly, they have been asking for a while already. So yeah I should be responsible for this, and not to do the same mistake again. I am so out of touch for doing all this design things. It’s so frustrating.

    The other thing that bothers me is that I really dislike it when I’m not treated as if I have a choice. So this lecturer I sense that he is manipulative in his ways to get what he wants. I’m so not gonna be part of his agenda. When I declined to do what he wanted, he had the audacity to text my mom about it. So frustrating. It triggered me a lot, I felt so much hatred for my mom. Like, I don’t feel safe with her anymore. It’s like, I need help but knowing my parents it felt like I need to exchange that help with something towards their favour. The feeling of shame and guilt for receiving their help is still there. I just don’t trust my parents and my family.

    And then, I have financial issues, I mean I created them too. My wages from teaching now is exactly the amount that I had wanted, actually given more. It’s the additional commitments to pay for trainings that made me overspent, as well as impulsive eating. I’m tired of having limited choice, but I need to choose and cut back to live peacefully. If I love myself, I gotta cut back until I can earn more. Food and fuel is more important than fancy training.

    The thing about the lecturer, I chose to toughen it up, it’s not my mom’s fault. I am an adult and I have the choice to do what I want – as long as I’m still doing what’s necessary for my studies. And as for my brother’s request, I’m so gonna send him an invoice later.

    Stand up for yourself, Nurul. You got this!

  • DBA Milestone: Conceptual Paper

    As I write, it’s almost 2 am, just submitted my set of questionnaire for my research to my supervisors and had to power through to prepare for tomorrow’s BodyPump class. Yet to apply for ethical committee approval to collect data, but I’m hoping to get it done in a week from now.

    Next up is to write couple of journal articles, starting with conceptual paper. I’m so excited to start on this one. I hope I can manage to get it done on time. Honestly so struggled to do it all, but compared with my condition last year, I’m at better odds to get things going.

    Be grateful for what I have and had done and focus on facing the present while preparing for the future. Now, time to sleep. I hope I can remember my chorey for tomorrow’s class.

  • State of Flow in Reflection

    I know right, this is like the third post I have written in a row. While typing this, I have three other posts in line as drafts.

    I miss myself in this state of being at this moment where I can just create and create with ideas overflowing out of me. At the same time, I am feeling general anxiety. It’s 1am and I am not asleep yet, I have get up early for morning class later. I am also feeling unsettled cause I did not finish my laundry – there were rats outside, I just don’t want to deal with them right now.

    It feels great to be able to reflect on what has been happening, like process on recent events, check on my feelings. Keep myself updated on happenings, making sense of things. It’s like, “Hey we’ve gone through this! How it feels like?”. Yeah, I don’t only keep my friends updated, but also need to tell myself to update on my take for each experience. Life is just too beautiful to let by without context. I want to tell myself more, but it’s already late. Thanks Allah for this privilege.

    Regroup and get ready for what’s to come.