Typical stay-in on Sunday. Initially wanted to go out to my parents after I’m done with my chores today, I decided not to because I didn’t feel like going out anymore. What has been up? For the past few weeks, I was just trying to reconfigure my life again so that I am not all over the place. Life is still overwhelming as usual, but I guess I am feeling happier – apprehensive for what’s to come next year; and most of the difficult stuffs that I struggled with had all been done and dusted. Mixed feelings and experiences, I don’t have to write it down in a structured way – though I criticise myself a bit for still wanting to be organised, even with writing this simple post; I guess I have to accept that this is just the way I am. So, let’s just keep it structured.
What’s great:
- Paid my viva voce fees
- Had a nice evening yesterday at Christmas carolling with the ladies that I teach at the gym
- My body composition is going more towards my goals – gained loads muscles and lose body fat. I think my nutrition strategy worked. Will test again for the next few months.
- My body is adjusting to my more intense training and physical activities now – and I kind of have a routine to reset and recover so that my body remains resilient
- Broke my 2k income target for the 2nd month
- Spent more time with my family; however, haven’t seen my grandma and other relatives for months
- I stood up for myself and that felt great
- My relationships with the people I meet from my fitness circle are getting better
- Organised and clean my house today, all the stuff I want to do all done
What’s not great:
- Pending 1 more assignment which is already due
- Still have viva voce to face, create my presentation slides and practice. After all the troubles to get this far, it still is so overwhelming – I just don’t want to deal with this at the moment
- Just feeling anxious to face the week – it’s gonna be a busy one and I’m not ready to get busy
- I am feeling not fully recharged and ready yet to face the week – mainly because I haven’t finished my assignment and presentation slides that I want to get done by this week
- Despite of my life getting much simpler and slower, I am still feeling overwhelmed.
- I have yet to write my 2025 plan and review my 2024 progress
- Again, yes, so much things to do, but little time and energy to do them all
- And so much stuffs to buy but not enough cash for now to get them
I was thinking about who am I right now – how far have I grown. This was triggered as I watched a socks brand advertisement punishing people they label as ‘Normies’ and approving people with outrageous aesthetics. Normal people are not necessarily bland, every individual is unique and has own quirks. I so disagreed with the ads, and it really irritated me for being so judgmental. Then I asked myself, have I become a boring person as I don’t fancy being weird and upbeat anymore (like, serious questions). My conclusion on this now, there are 2 types of people, traditional and weird people. I’d like to think that I am more into the traditional type, then again, I definitely am not a boring person. I just prefer more structure and stability, rather than drama and uncertainty. I am extremely creative, still open to learning new things, new experiences and some adventure.
I thought about what’s my goal for next year. My main objective is definitely on creating stability. I think for my development plan for next year is developing strategies on how to transition my life from surviving towards growth, improving my life standards for a bit. Like the food I eat, which area of my life should I prioritise, making my house more homely and comfortable, investment and saving goals, my wardrobe, my appearance. I feel like I am ready to be that Nurul who enjoys life, going out and about; and always dress well again. I can’t imagine how I got the time to apply make up on all the time even just for going to class last time. I want to wear nice clothes and shoes; and hanging out with my friends again. I am letting go that survival phase Nurul that I have to pull through to get by. Thank you for that version of me for hanging on. It’s time to move forward and thrive. I believe in you (myself!).