I subscribed to Dr Jonice Webb’s work in Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) which I came across in the early stages of my realisation that there was something wrong with me, sometime in 2018. I related to it instantly and bought 2 of her books. The emails she sent weekly at first triggered my past hurt. But over time I don’t know when, I stopped taking it personally and started to read them with an open heart and mind.
So, recently, she created this 10 Days Awareness Challenge for free. I immediately signed up without hesitation, and followed through along with my own time. If any of you are interested to find out what it is all about, you can enroll yourself by going to this link here.
My main learning out of this are the 10 affirmations that I could use to reparent myself (these are my favourites) and three steps that I can do to begin my CEN healing. The video of the affirmations is available on YouTube, here on this link. Such an important link. I would like to write to her one day on how much burden she had lifted from me, from all the feeling of unworthiness and consistent gloom and doom feeling.
Back to the affirmations, the 10 main affirmations to reparent myself that I could use are:
- No feelings are bad, it’s what I do with them
- It’s only a feeling, I can handle this
- Pay attention to this feeling, it matters
- My parents can’t give me what they don’t have
- I can do this
- Stop with the self-doubt – it is not helpful
- I’ve proven myself before, and Icould definitely prove myself again
- It’s just a skill, and I could learn it
- Asking for help is a sign of strength
- I am not responsible for the things I cannot control – I’m not in charge of the whole world, let it go!
The good thing is, it affirms me that I have already started healing because I use some the affirmations myself consistently. I wish I could cut and paste these affirmations somewhere in my brain for quick access whenever I am feeling inadequate.
Another thing that I learnt from this awareness challenge is to practice these three things to heal my CEN. Those are (as in my notes):
- Learn everything I can about CEN
- Change my relationship with my emotions and feelings – it is valuable, tells me something about myself, holding good or bad memory about something, warning, information, message of something that I need – be curious about my feelings
- Start paying attentions to my feelings – do this drill 3 times a day. Close my eyes – turn inwards, ask myself what am I feeling right now? – feel the feelings in my belly, chest, throat or in my head.
It feels so good that I can now see another move forward in healing my childhood trauma. Please have a go at the challenge, who knows it might change your view about yourself and ultimately your life.