Two more weeks until the month ends. It has been a great one for me, yet still so many things to get done – I start to feel out of balance consistently.
What’s great:
- Did my DRP
- Finally went out to visit an amazing place in Ranau – Taralamas River Canyon. I’ll write all about it in a post!
- I am getting fitter and stronger
- I am getting the hang of teaching BodyPump 3-4 times a week
- Guess what, he’s back! – I am still undecided how to respond to this
- Finally getting the company kit moving for MYJ Tau Systems SB
- My PT client made a lot of progress in her fitness and training. So proud of her!
- Settled MYJ Naturalle SB annual return stuff – almost missed it though
- Made a lot of new friends from gym
- Consistent early morning meditation before everything else daily since July
What’s not great:
- Pending work – the painting at the navy base
- Nervous of the next milestone of my studies
- I haven’t continued with MYJ Naturalle SB business plan yet
- Web application for cinema tickets. Sigh!
- Work still coming and piling up – I feel it is hard to catch up
- I am still at the beck and call of my family – because I feel I gotta do it in return of their financial help
- Added my financial commitment – I gotta work extra to make ends meet
- Still unable to pay my study loan in full unlike before
- My body needs more care – nutrition, stretching, sleep – I feel like it is never enough with rest
- Eventhough he’s back, I still need to address how I feel and what I need – it unsettles me that I am ok with what he did
- Still feeling something is off and despite of what I am doing; it still is not enough
- I want to spend more time processing and healing my CEN trauma
- I find it hard to sit down and relax and do the things I like such as painting
I am especially anxious about my financial situation. Maybe I need to make the decision where I need to draw the line so that my time is used wisely that will add more value to my life. Maybe this is the process that I need to go through. To compare with last year at this time around, I am a lot better now. I have income, I think I am at my fittest and I am curious how much more and what else I can do. It’s like never ending quest to level up. I am not sure if this is healthy or not. And I am getting more aware of my triggers, the way I talk to myself. I rarely judge or put myself down anymore and it makes me so much peaceful and relaxed. The meditation practice that I do daily has helped me a lot in so many ways. I am feeling more myself and have better agency of what I want to do in line with my values. So yeah, for 2 weeks, those are a lot. I am proud of myself, I just need to slow down a bit and chill. I did enough.