I was so looking forward for today cause it’s my first ortho review and I was excited cause I get to change the band for my braces. Today I chose blue!
As the day progressed, so many negative things happened, like, water cut for a few hours at my apartment caused by pipe repair, therefore I ran late for review (oh my gosh! I hate being late gave me so much rush!), did not manage to send parcel I planned to today, my kuih plan did not turn out as I plan, and my PT session got cancelled again. And by the end of the day, I was so exhausted and seemed like occupied my day so much – but nothing gets done!
Been feeling this way for a few days already. Being exhausted and overwhelmed when nothing goes my way triggered my anxiety a lot and the feeling that I am never good enough. At times, I can’t help feeling hopeless as I kept having flashbacks on that feeling when my efforts gone unappreciated by my dad. He’s not a bad man, I just know something within him is just wrong cause he cannot seem to show his appreciation to me no matter how great I did. I stopped caring about being validated, but today the feeling is all over the place which makes me sad and agitated.
So, again, I must remember to ground myself, check of my good traits and strengths regardless of whether people notice or not.
Secondly, where am I at on my hormonal cycle. Yes, this affects a lot!
Third, check with my schedule and what I had been doing all week. My body is just exhausted. This week, I had 4 BodyPump classes (2 teaching full class, 1 team teach, 1 as participant), 2 CrossFit foundation classes and 1 powerlifting foundation class. And I did not sleep and eat enough. Added up with cooking errands for my mom. That’s quite a week already! Maybe both cancellations of my PT sessions were a blessing, if not I would be more exhausted I guess. I may have breached my own boundaries here.
Last one, I would normally gave my body a good stretch especially for my back, and put on the essential oil diffuser to loosen up.
I still have errands to do the next day, what with back to back weekend classes. Seriously exhausted and overwhelmed, I gotta help myself. Apart from overwhelm, I know I am feeling insecure right now with all the uncertainty of events.
My pace is accelerating, which is good for the momentum. I gotta know and find a way to be more balanced but still get things done. For this, must be more efficient when doing things and delegate what others can help do for me.
Badly need a good cry.