Virtually Nurul – { Research | Fitness | Designs } by Nurul

Author: Nurul

  • Long Overdue Life Audit – Direction for 2023/2024

    FFA Nurul

    Ideal state: Financially stable, potentially earning at least RM3k and above, with savings on car maintenance and emergency events, manageable debt repayments. Steady stream of income and balance working on passion projects, family business and my role as a consultant after graduated from DBA program. Calm and happy.

    Driving FactorRestraining Factor
    • financially independent, not relying on my parents money (5)
    • freedom to do what I want and to be myself- peace of mind, not to worry about unpaid bills (5)
    • opportunity to contribute to my family (4)
    • realising my need to be self-sufficient (5)
    • not worrying about my car and disrupt my travels (4)
    • security when emergency happens or when I need extra money (4)
    • some resource for knowledge and skills upgrading (3)
    • I can be more available to those who matters (5)
    • I can buy more quality food to nourish my body (5)
    • life upgrades – wardrobes, home, self-care (5)
    • experience and knowledge in IT and fitness; competence in industry (3)
    • no need to invest so much to start rolling (4)
    • vast methods and opportunity to share my insights online (3)
    • access to gyms to promote my services (4)
    • physically fitter and look better than I was before (4)
    • enjoy life (5)
    • competitive (3)
    • market demands unmatched with my service and offered rate (3)
    • juggling for time (5)
    • demotivated sometimes when unable to fulfill customer needs (3)
    • limited local opportunities (4)
    • physically tired to push in getting more done (5)
    • unclear who are my target market that would value my service (5)
    • many commitments that consume time and money (4)
    • how to market my service online with just using Instagram, WhatsApp, YouTube and my website (5)
    • sometimes too overwhelmed to do anything (4)
    • basic commitments almost RM700 per month without adding on fuels and food (5)
    • no more savings (5)
    • sometimes giving in to unnecessary costs (3)
    • debts almost RM30k (4)
    • need to solve financial issue on family business (5)
    • pending work from previous years (5)
    Total: 68Total: 68

    Same tally. Ok from here, my area to develop on would be – Marketing & Branding, Sales Opportunity, Time Management, Fitness & Well-being, Finance, Business Development, Preliminary Action. Timeframe is 2 years, that is from now August 2023 to August 2025. By this time, I must already have graduated and achieved at least 60% of my ideal state – especially the finance part where I am able to pay my monthly debts and secure some money for my savings.

    Development plan for Nurul to achieve ideal state in 2 years

    Primary focus is to finish pending jobs before 2023 ends. Start earning RM900-1,000 per month first to sustain the year. If I finish all these actions by year 2024, I could potentially generate RM30,000-40,000 more by then.

    AreaActionHowTimeframe
    Marketing & BrandingFind my superpowerRead articles on authenticity, finding niche, superpower14 Aug – 1 Nov 2023
    Structure packagesOutline fitness service packages – price, options, points of contacts14 Aug – 31 Aug 2023
    Social mediaInstagram, YouTube, WhatsApp31 Aug 2023
    ChannelsWebsite, Emails 31 Aug 2023
    Determine frequency31 Aug 2023
    ContentsDetermine what kind of contents that would:
    – create awareness on fitness
    – create awareness on BodyPump
    – motivate people to improve habits to like fitness
    – introduce different kinds or trends of training
    -demonstrate knowledge and competence
    – own experience and journey    		31 Aug 2023
    Online course/PT
    Hosting and website packages marketingSEO work
    Update Tau Systems website
    Sort visibility and coverage
    PortfolioDigital kit
    Printed kit
    Structured contents
    Sales OpportunityScan consumers profile
    Perform PESTEL
    Market research
    Target people – individual, corporate, new gym members
    Approach contractors SMEs on website and email hosting services
    Create awareness – story and social media and website contents
    Time ManagementPending job at HATWKKHeli section
    Running section – face, touchup details, banner
    Chamber section – details baju, face
    Logo – left and right
    Smoothen out background    		1 Mar 2024
    Kiosk apps GrowballInterface prototype
    Workable prototype
    Presentation
    Install
    Test    		1 Mar 2024
    Business plan MYJNFramework to study profits, SWOT, business plan, recommendations, PESTLE, market research, current condition – strategy – Data pertanian DOA – food delivery
    Business kit MYJTSLogo
    Update portfolio
    Update website info
    DBA researchCorrection – ongoing
    REC approval
    Writing article journal
    Book chapter
    Data collection    		Feb 2024
    PT classes and sessionsSpecify free interchangeable slots with classes and training19 Aug 2023
    Hobby & creativesSlot one day just for myself to engage in hobbies

    UOB Art Comp     		31 Dec 2024
    31 July 2024
    Personal choresHome repairs
    Main room cleaning
    Bathroom repair
    Sink repairs
    Garden
    Dismantle double decker bed
    Relationships – family, friends and loveSchedule time to be at parents, dates and friends
    Meet family once a week    		19 Aug 2023
    31 Dec 2024
    Fitness & WellbeingTraining schedule and focusSpecify days of training and expected costs

    Schedule daily stretching to release tension    		20 Aug 2023
    Nutrition planDetermine groceries sets required and monthly costs31 Aug 2023
    CEN workFinish 10 days awareness challenge
    Do 3x a day – ask myself how am I feeling? Why am I feeling?
    Learn everything about CEN    		13-19 Aug 2023
    31 Dec 2024
    BooksFinish pending book titles
    Read list of book titles
    MindfulnessMeditation 10-20 mins daily31 Dec 2024
    FinanceStudy loanOutstanding RM14,00031 Dec 2024
    Membership debtOutstanding RM2,00031 Dec 2024
    MYJN outstanding and cashflowPlan on how to generate RM2000 – RM5000 per month15 Sept 2023
    Find extra income/jobLimit on arts, web and coding and fitness
    Accumulate savingsCar maintenance saving RM1,500 per year
    		31 Dec 2024
    Business DevelopmentMYJN new offers
    New products TS
    Create on-demand online services
    Web-apps pay per month/year
    Fitness classes
    Online PT
    Progress monitoring package
    Preliminary ActionExpand network
    Create visibilityEnhance website contents
    Use YouTube and Instagram
    SEO on website
    Prepare catalog/ deliverablesCatalog and materials for TS
    Catalog for PT
    Offer classes, purchasable printsDetermine concept and products to sell
    Find out how others do it
    Present all services to people, no reservation

    Updated 23 Jan 2024

  • Tricky August

    Two more weeks until the month ends. It has been a great one for me, yet still so many things to get done – I start to feel out of balance consistently.

    What’s great:

    • Did my DRP
    • Finally went out to visit an amazing place in Ranau – Taralamas River Canyon. I’ll write all about it in a post!
    • I am getting fitter and stronger
    • I am getting the hang of teaching BodyPump 3-4 times a week
    • Guess what, he’s back! – I am still undecided how to respond to this
    • Finally getting the company kit moving for MYJ Tau Systems SB
    • My PT client made a lot of progress in her fitness and training. So proud of her!
    • Settled MYJ Naturalle SB annual return stuff – almost missed it though
    • Made a lot of new friends from gym
    • Consistent early morning meditation before everything else daily since July

    What’s not great:

    • Pending work – the painting at the navy base
    • Nervous of the next milestone of my studies
    • I haven’t continued with MYJ Naturalle SB business plan yet
    • Web application for cinema tickets. Sigh!
    • Work still coming and piling up – I feel it is hard to catch up
    • I am still at the beck and call of my family – because I feel I gotta do it in return of their financial help
    • Added my financial commitment – I gotta work extra to make ends meet
    • Still unable to pay my study loan in full unlike before
    • My body needs more care – nutrition, stretching, sleep – I feel like it is never enough with rest
    • Eventhough he’s back, I still need to address how I feel and what I need – it unsettles me that I am ok with what he did
    • Still feeling something is off and despite of what I am doing; it still is not enough
    • I want to spend more time processing and healing my CEN trauma
    • I find it hard to sit down and relax and do the things I like such as painting

    I am especially anxious about my financial situation. Maybe I need to make the decision where I need to draw the line so that my time is used wisely that will add more value to my life. Maybe this is the process that I need to go through. To compare with last year at this time around, I am a lot better now. I have income, I think I am at my fittest and I am curious how much more and what else I can do. It’s like never ending quest to level up. I am not sure if this is healthy or not. And I am getting more aware of my triggers, the way I talk to myself. I rarely judge or put myself down anymore and it makes me so much peaceful and relaxed. The meditation practice that I do daily has helped me a lot in so many ways. I am feeling more myself and have better agency of what I want to do in line with my values. So yeah, for 2 weeks, those are a lot. I am proud of myself, I just need to slow down a bit and chill. I did enough.

  • It’s DRP day!

    Finally the dreaded day has come! Most of my preparations were ready with the help of my supervisors. It was not 100%, but I felt that what I did was good enough.

    I was late probably 30 minutes later than what I originally planned. Managed to tweak a bit my presentation slides in the morning, where I deemed appropriate. My wardrobe planning were done yesterday and I had everything ready the night before. Wardrobe planning is so important to me, that I would not risk it for the last minute throw as it could end up not right the first time, and I would waste times to find what will fit; then I would be late and other disasters would follow. Talking about neuroticism, but I accept myself this way.

    I was happy with how I looked and my makeup was alright! My car took a bit more time to warm up, but I just waited patiently knowing I will arrive on time (30 minutes later than what I had planned).

    I tried to stay calm throughout my journey to the uni, reassuring myself that I had done enough preparation for it. Whatever happens, I’ll just need to catch up and do my corrections. It’s all in God’s hand.

    I arrived 15 minutes early. Set up my laptop, presentation slides with the projector and basically got myself ready and made sure that I was within the right mindset.

    The presentation went smoothly as per my usual practice mock DRP. It was a lot better and smoother than what I had expected. Got a lot of feedbacks and questions from the examiners and everyone present. After I finished answering and clarified what was asked, I was asked to stay outside with my supervisors as the panel were discussing among themselves on my results.

    Had a little chat with my supervisors while waiting for the results. When we were called in I was calm, maybe because I fought and waited so long for this day. The chairperson explained to me all the passing ranks and the justifications. Finally, he announced that I passed with rank 2! Hooray!! Very minimal correction and only my supervisors will endorse the corrections after that. We were all so pleased with the results. We were then given the opportunity to speak a few words and I was so happy and expressed my gratitude and appreciation for everyone involved especially towards my supervisors.

    What I took from the session was, I did a good job together with my supervisors at research. According to the panels, my research is in line or at par with PhD level, for it’s prospective contribution not only for the industry, but also for the body of knowledge. Secondly, practice and hard work seldom come irreciprocated. Third, when I disagree with something, often I just need to express it and ask for help on how win win situation could be created with related parties. Finally, I was just so pleased because all of this was the fruition of my authentic intention and beliefs. I also could not do it without the support and understanding of my parents.

    I would also like to stress that understanding my interests and my awareness of my behaviours my motivators, though it’s hard work and resulting from years of exploration – doing something that is aligned with myself will never feel like a burden; but rather something that I would be gladly and willingly fight for.

  • August is here!

    It’s past half a year now. Interesting past few weeks. The highlight of last week was I felt that I felt so aligned with everything, the crowd I’m with, my activities. Though there were things that were upsetting but they were okay.

    What’s good last week – my trainings were on point. My fitness had tremendously improved, I loved how I looked. I love how the people around me were so supportive with my journey – basically had been receiving kindness from other people. That meant a lot to me. I felt that I was in the right time all in my alignment. Everything that I had worked for had finally came into fruition. But of course, stability is still far from my reach – again, someone said security is an illusion – however, I am still looking for that peace that could potentially come from stability and doing what I like in life.

    This week started out okay. Still feeling a lot of clouds – maybe it’s the extremely hot weather that sets me off. Gotta do a bit of tweaking for my DRP presentation and proposal. I just find it really hard to focus in this weather. Something needs to be done about it! A lot of exciting things are happening this week. I am living my life – it’s not as extravagant but this is my story and I love it!

  • DRP Preparation

    So, my DRP is finally happening and will be conducted on 4th August 2023. I am so excited, but also now really need to focus on touching up my proposal and presentation plan to be in sync with my supervisors. List of things to do from here on:

    • Finish adding citations and check references
    • Formatting
    • Check my grammar
    • Presentation slides adjustments
    • Mock DRP presentation with my supervisors
    • My own timeline prior to make the above list happens

    This week, laser focus on this one and assignments. May God help me in completing this one.

  • Backdate – Emotional Housekeeping

    Where do I start? A lot has happened last week. Mixed emotions and experiences that almost triggered me into that survival mode again. Five major adjustments from my usual routines:

    1. Coordinating expo and working with my mother
    2. School friends came over for a visit and wanted to hang out
    3. A session of strength training that sent my body feeling weird
    4. Defending my stand and negotiate to undergo my DRP with my supervisors
    5. Going through my already full routines in addition to above event – I had exam, class and teaching group exercises as usual

    Discussing on event 1, it was okay at first. The folks who are supposed to be working with my plan just decided to do their own thing. And I felt that my time is not respected. It might seem that I can come up with a plan as quick as a snap of fingers, but actually all the scenarios have been thought up for days or even weeks in my head. And I know my mom was tired and she sacrificed a lot, but I am also upset that she did not stand up to her needs – and took it on us when she was overwhelmed. To some degree, I did that too when things are out of my control. It is our dynamics that concern me a lot. How do we address differences. How to communicate all these things. My brother did not seem to want to help or cooperate until my mother stepped in, and maybe manipulated him to help. So really, after all this, I really need to reconsider how I would want to be involved with my family again especially in helping them with business. A lot of reframing and boundary setting need to be outlined, so as to not exhaust myself. I am tired of putting on the self that I automatically project whenever I am with my family members. They are puppets of their insecurities without feelings, not human. If I choose to follow their flow, I will succumb to their insecurities, and be like them too. So, I need to be careful.

    Internally, I feel that I should not feel guilty, because I already communicated my availability and the stuffs I needed to deal during the event. I am not a superhuman, and I already did my best. What I am disappointed about is, all these chaos distracted me from concentrating for my exam. Partly it is also my fault, because I want to control everyone’s time to fit in mine. And turns out it was not for the best too. I also feel that I spent my time meeting my friends more than I can afford to spend. My rationale is that they are here for a short time, and I should take the opportunity to meet and catch up. Maybe situations like this triggered my critical perfectionism or I call it Rebecca that guided me to make this judgement. It really weren’t my friends’ fault. It is mine for not drawing the line.

    I am also so stressed out because of conflicts with my supervisors, it was an intense session meeting them last week. But it turned out so well after we all communicated our concerns, and we left as a team again. My supervisors really are my people. I love them so much for helping me. I pray that we could all work together well to finish my studies. That really was something positive or progress I made, because I dare to stand up for myself and voice out my needs. My DBA circles are the best people I have been with, except a few – I so can detect now who have dysfunctional tendencies and who are healthy, and who are in between.

    Other than that, I am just already physically exhausted from training. But I know this is good for my future longevity in fitness career. I am only started here, there are lots of adjustments I need to make for optimum growth for my work and my training in fitness. I got to restructure my time and recovery to fit in group fitness instructing, powerlifting training and CrossFit. Fitting in exercise, training, proper nutrition prep and recovery are really hard and takes a lot of discipline. So far, the best things and moments that are rewarding and positive to me are from fitness and my DBA studies. These are the things that I would like to keep for a long time.

    Seriously, it is the family dynamics that bother me the most. Because I am still depending on them financially. I am looking forward to severe ties with them professionally. I still can spend time with them, but I no longer can participate in all their insecurities about money and power; especially money. This is where I learn from them, that I could not live off like how I want to with financial stability. I have long unsubscribed to their definition of life and success. I will do a life audit to structure my life better.

    All for a better emotional and physical fitness. I got this!

  • Heaviness

    Today I’m feeling the heaviness and grief again. Woke up feeling really sluggish, even the meditation did not calm me down.

    I’m feeling overwhelm thinking of what’s gonna happen in a few days during event, and how I’m gonna need a week to recover my body so that I can be my best with my body in teaching.

    Then again, this might not be true. I tend to have this catastrophic thinking. I’ll do well out of this. There’s so much fear with events, the tiredness, the unproductivity, the crowd and people. Maybe I should just focus on what I needed to do and have faith that the other people will do their jobs.

    I worry on meeting my supervisors, I’m so tired dealing with them and with the load I needed to do for this study. I kind of sense their character flaws. Not that I’m better than them, but I feel that they are putting inconsiderately and unnecessary perfectionistic expectations on something that is less important than the whole process of research itself. I can negotiate with them and tell them how I feel tomorrow.

    I’m thinking how much I do miss him and the absurdity of my brain still looking for good justification why he did what he did. Then I stopped myself, to not think about it, but just feel my emotions fleeting. We did have good times, so my body is craving for it. Just observe, the intensity will fade. He still is the asshole that he is, for treating me with disrespect; remember that.

    My whole body is aching too. I didn’t know I have a weak back and upper body until I did CrossFit and powerlifting. Maybe I’ll feel better after stretching, shower and have a good breakfast.

    Everything I need to deal today, it’s gonna be fine and okay.

  • Missed Deadline

    Oh my God! I’m supposed to submit a draft early morning today. Not tomorrow.

    Well I really do my best, if only people know how hard I am trying. I feel guilty though, but I’m not gonna beat myself up cause I really did everything I needed to prepare myself to write today.

    Now I need to meditate it out.

  • DBA – 3rd Semester, In!

    This weekend I spent a lot of my time for activities involving my DBA studies.

    Had my 4th presentation on my DBA research proposal, that I do not have any fear to talk about it to anyone (hopefully) at all. The more I present and received feedback from lecturers, the clearer I get on what are the challenges to do it; and how can I improve the research. My confidence also grew a lot. The lecturers and my peers had warned me that the actual defense session is going to be brutal. I do not yet feel threatened or stressed out by it, but I have still to prepare myself for what can happen.

    Explaining my literature review leading to research framework

    I did the presentation in the midst of class learning about PLS-SEM, but glad that I managed to catch up what was it all about after missing about one and a half hours of lecture and demonstration.

    I feel the time is just right. Had I presented my proposal before I have the slightest idea what PLS is all about, I might be fried and burnt down to ashes, if methodology is asked out of me. The more I just let things flow and not stressing over it, the more convinced I am that Allah has everything laid out for me. I just need to do my best in my capacity and with the help of others around me.

    All of us DBA classmates minus one, with Dr Chua and her husband

    We also had a nice dinner last night at a native cuisine restaurant at Hotel No. 5. It was a nice and chill hang out with my classmates and the lecturer. I don’t really know what was nice about it. The whole experience, the company, our dynamic conversations that really made the night, I guess. We spent for a whole 2 hours there, but it felt longer that time.

    At this point of time, I really am feeling that I am together with my tribe – people who are more like me; and less like the people who I tried so hard to belong to. I feel like I have really grown and upgraded; and I am so pleased with myself. Thank you Allah for all the experiences you sent my way. And for my mom, for being there for me in the toughest of times.

  • Serotonin

    I was scrolling through my Instagram just lying on my couch having millions of thoughts on things that I should be doing right now.

    Then there’s one post by Derric Chan I guess, I’ll check back what’s the handle, sharing on feel good hormones. There are 4, and based on my lifestyle, I’m pretty much ok with most of the hormones except serotonin.

    No wonder meditation appeals to me a lot these days, and that I’m consistently trying to reduce my stress as I have been living under chronic stress these days and I avoid stressful people and situations. It seems to me that my body is protecting me by telling me that this is good for me cause I lack of it.

    Coping up with today’s lifestyle and my expectations and others, often I find that I am consistently stressed because I put myself as a high performing person at work. I gotta unravel this needs to be high performer. I am now ok being the last person among others. I don’t compete with people anymore. I only compete with myself. And maybe cause I still attach myself to the idea of success as according to my parents – that I gotta be a good child and not disappoint them; that made me feel less than who I actually am.

    I don’t want to blame my family anymore it’s unfair to them. Maybe I haven’t confronted myself enough. True, I gotta set my standard, but not to the extent of torturing myself. I guess everyone at some point has this. Like my PT client, she always wants to do more. It kind of triggered me. Maybe I am upset cause I used to, and sometimes, be like that. She sounded disappointed when I said that she should take it easy with her training. I just want to be kind and for her to not torture her body. Maybe I have crossed her belief. Whatever it is, I have found her obstacle to become better with training. This is also a huge reminder to always be kind to myself; body, mind and spirit.