I was scrolling through my Instagram just lying on my couch having millions of thoughts on things that I should be doing right now.
Then there’s one post by Derric Chan I guess, I’ll check back what’s the handle, sharing on feel good hormones. There are 4, and based on my lifestyle, I’m pretty much ok with most of the hormones except serotonin.
No wonder meditation appeals to me a lot these days, and that I’m consistently trying to reduce my stress as I have been living under chronic stress these days and I avoid stressful people and situations. It seems to me that my body is protecting me by telling me that this is good for me cause I lack of it.
Coping up with today’s lifestyle and my expectations and others, often I find that I am consistently stressed because I put myself as a high performing person at work. I gotta unravel this needs to be high performer. I am now ok being the last person among others. I don’t compete with people anymore. I only compete with myself. And maybe cause I still attach myself to the idea of success as according to my parents – that I gotta be a good child and not disappoint them; that made me feel less than who I actually am.
I don’t want to blame my family anymore it’s unfair to them. Maybe I haven’t confronted myself enough. True, I gotta set my standard, but not to the extent of torturing myself. I guess everyone at some point has this. Like my PT client, she always wants to do more. It kind of triggered me. Maybe I am upset cause I used to, and sometimes, be like that. She sounded disappointed when I said that she should take it easy with her training. I just want to be kind and for her to not torture her body. Maybe I have crossed her belief. Whatever it is, I have found her obstacle to become better with training. This is also a huge reminder to always be kind to myself; body, mind and spirit.